Title: Red String of Fate
Summary: Jun is having amazing realistic dreams of him and Sho as a student and teacher. With such a luring and forbidden love blossoming in his sleep, it's tempting Jun to confess one more time.
Notes: For mugen_ai3 in the Arashi Exchange.
—“An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but will never break.”
Jun gazed idly out the window, and the noises seemed to drown out. He tapped his pencil on his notebook, filled with tedious notes, as his professor continued with the lecture. His vision was a mix with crisp images and misty air, as if there was a thin veil draped over his eyes, and the sunlight would blind him if he blinked too much. He also felt extremely light and stress-free.
Until he felt a piece of chalk lightly hit his head.
"Matsumoto, if you're done daydreaming, then recite to us the method of Newton's Law."
Jun turned his head in annoyance, but he gaped at his teacher in bewilderment. His professor was Sakurai Sho, looking formal and sharp with his glasses and a textbook in hand. Jun was too shocked to even say anything that Sho shook his head at him.
"Stay after class, Matsumoto," Sho glowered at him and he carried on with the lesson.
"What's going on?" Jun thought. "Is this a dream? Wait a minute...how am I having a conscious thought in my own dream? This is all surprisingly realistic. Am I having a lucid dream?"
When the lecture was over, and the foggy-like students exited the room, Jun and Sho was left all alone. Jun had never attended to college before, but he had seen the large classrooms. Sho climbed up the stairs to meet Jun at his desk. Naturally, Jun packed his things hoping this would be short, but he noticed his notes were blank. Jun frowned. He was sure he wrote down something.
Sho saw this.
"Were you not taking notes?" Sho questioned. He sat unusually close to Jun. "Are my lectures not informative?"
"Uhh, n-no! I've picked up a lot through listening,"
Without asking, Sho gracefully took Jun's notebook and flipped through the pages. Jun's eyes widen when he saw page after page of drawings. However, they weren't just any harmless doodles, they were sexually intense drawings and marred with Sho's name covered in hearts and love lines. Even the most unimaginable words and drawings expressing boy love were written down. The strange part was that Jun remembered them, not so much the drawings but the words. He did remember a few of those passages, but he thought he only imagined them in his head.
It was as if the notebook was holding in his precious feelings all these years.
Jun felt his heart pounding like a drummer doing a solo bit. Sho took his glasses off and glanced at him. Jun gulped and felt his ears heating up in embarrassment.
"I-I didn't drew these," Jun panicked, "I don't understand. I mean, there must be some-"
Sho quickly smashed his lips onto Jun. His eyes were closed while Jun blinked frantically. Jun could hear his own heartbeat thumping even harder against his chest as Sho's hand slid up his arm.
Jun opened his eyes.
He was covered in sweat and laying on his bed. Jun turned his head and saw his alarm clock before he let out a sigh of relief. It was just a dream—and a really weird dream. Jun couldn't remember the last time one of his band members was in his dream, let alone have it be some kinky fantasy.
"Kinky?" Jun paused when he sat up. '"Did I really thought of that?"
Jun reached for his journal under his bed and began to write. He likes to keep a journal with him and write anything interesting that he experienced. He takes it with him to work too, but no one knows about it. His journal is his secret where he becomes his real self. His darkest thoughts, his silly imaginations, documenting his life. It's all in this journal. Jun thought the notebook in his dream must represent his own journal, but he never wrote heartfelt confessions or dirty drawings in his journal.
He was more mature than that.
Jun got ready for the day and packed his things, along with his journal, and headed off to work. It was another Arashi ni Shiyagare recording, and the five of them stood at the center. They did their usual title call and finger pointing at each other.
"It's September now," Sho started them off. "It's still hot out there, right? I woke up in sweat today."
"Oh, that reminds me. I had a weird dream last night about you," Jun brought up.
"Eh? Really? What?"
"I had a dream where I actually went to college," Jun said, and Sho looked more interested. "I was actually attending classes and taking notes."
"Could it have some sort of meaning?" Aiba said.
"I don't know, but the weird part was that Sho was my teacher," Jun smirked and everyone did the usual "Eh?!" response.
"What was he teaching you?" Nino asked.
"Ah, I'm really bad with physics," Sho said, looking bashful, "I can never understand it at all."
"That explains why you're no good in VS Arashi," Nino smirked. The audience laughed.
"And then, Sho yelled at me. 'Stop daydreaming. See me after class.' Like that," Jun nodded.
"You were daydreaming in a dream? Kinda like Inception?" Aiba joked, and the audience laughed again.
"Maybe. So, class ended," Jun continued, "And Sho saw my notebook was entirely blank. I thought I wrote down notes, but in my dream, they were all just drawings."
"What kind of drawings?" Ohno asked, looking curious.
"You know...those kinds of drawings," Jun grinned, leaving it to everyone's imagination. "I was really nervous, thinking, how did they get there?"
"And what did I do?" Sho asked.
Instantly, Jun remembered what happened. It was as if Jun could recall those hot and full lips on his own, but Jun quickly pulled himself together. He was on TV after all.
"I woke up."
The audience whined and so did Arashi apart from Jun and Sho. Throughout the rest of the recording, Jun did his part and smiled for the camera. But internally, he could not get that dream out of his mind. He found himself staring at Sho for long seconds. It was just a dream, nothing more.
The first recording finished, and they headed back to their green room to rest. On busy days, they'd record three episodes, but today they were only doing two. Jun finished eating his lunch and took the couch for himself. The food made him sleepy, and he decided to take a quick nap before the next guest arrived.
Jun was climbing towards a lonely cherry blossom tree, and he sat down in its shade. He could see the college campus down the hill, and the students and teachers were walking around like tiny bugs. Jun rested his back on the tree and stared up through the flowers. Suddenly, he heard someone sat next to him.
It was Sho.
"Again?" Jun thought. "How is this possible?"
"Jun," Sho spoke, his eyes staring down at the campus. "Please forgive me."
"What I did in class. It was foolish of me," Sho ran his hand through his hair. "I didn't even think to consider your feelings first, but when I saw those drawings, I thought-"
"Wait a minute," Jun interrupted. "How can you remember that? This is all a dream. You're just...a figment of my imagination."
"Jun, this is real,"
"What are you talking about?" Jun smirked nervously. "This is a dream."
Sho pulled out Jun's notebook from class. He flipped it open, and a photo was stuck between the pages. It was an old photo of him and Sho together, but there was a red line connecting their little fingers together. Jun remembered a long time ago he drew that red string onto the photo. Jun glanced up and saw Sho's eyes staring admiringly at him.
"Everything is real. Everything can come true. Everything you ever wished for can happen here," Sho said.
"But," Jun mumbled, "that was all in the past. And you're a teacher and I'm a student. Isn't that bad?"
Suddenly, Sho grabbed Jun's wrist and pulled in for a tight embrace. The notebook laid forgotten in a pile of cherry blossoms, and Jun felt his face heat up again. Sho placed a protective hand on his head.
"For high school, it is a forbidden love, but it's not bad for college," Sho said. "It's not something to be ashamed of. You don't have to hide anymore. Just trust in me and you won't have to feel lonely ever again."
"Sho, we can't-"
"It's alright if you don't accept this reality just yet. After all, I can't win your heart unless you're in love too," Sho said, facing him again. "But I can make you happy. I promise I'll never hurt you again. Stay here with me."
Once again, he leaned in for a kiss, and Jun felt Sho's strong arms hold him close. It felt so real. It was just too good to be a dream. He could feel every touch, pressure, and warmth. It was everything he wished for such a long time. Jun thought he shut all feelings away, but they never left him at all.
Sho pulled apart and caressed Jun's cheek in his hands. His black hair shined brightly under the sunlight peeking through the pink and white flowers. Jun noticed the vibrant colors around them and how they reflected in Sho's eyes. Jun dared to touch Sho's face as well, and he felt soft skin. He lowered his eyes to Sho's exposing neck.
And then he woke up with a small gasp.
"Are you okay, Jun? You're sweating."
Jun sat up from the couch. The others were gone somewhere, but Sho sat in his chair with a cup of tea and a newspaper. His eyes were staring at him with concern as Jun rubbed his face.
"Could it be? Were you dreaming again?" Sho asked.
"I..." Jun mumbled, "I need to wash up."
Jun walked briskly towards the bathroom and shut himself in. He leaned his hands on the counter, staring at his own confused reflection. The mirror may show him looking just fine and perfect, but he felt like a mess. He gently touched his lips, expecting them to feel wet, but they were just warm. Yet, Jun could remember everything as if it happened a few seconds ago.
"What is going on?" Jun mumbled.
There was a knock on the door.
"Hey, Jun. The others went to celebrate someone's birthday," Sho said. "I'm going to the office."
"O-okay, I'm coming,"
He washed up and left the bathroom. The green room was completely empty, so Jun took the chance to write in his journal again. He always wrote when he's alone, and if someone asked what he was doing, he'd give them the cold treatment to leave him in peace. No one is to know about his journal. No one.
This time, he was writing and feeling a little paranoid. Those soft caresses and warm touches felt so real, it almost hurt. Jun noticed his hands were shaking a bit as he wrote, so he had to briefly explain to his journal about his dream. His feelings got across the page, but he was scared of his old emotions haunting him again.
The second recording was a success, but tiring since it was another physical episode. Throughout the entire time, Jun would unconsciously find excuses to get close to Sho. He was even lucky enough to be partners with Sho when they have to do an event. To the others, it looked like harmless fan service.
But to Jun, it was a struggle.
Those dreams felt so real that he kept mistaking the real Sho for the one in his sleep. Jun had a hard time grasping his reality when the one in his dreams felt so much more fulfilling. The dream Sho was kinder and gentler. Jun could remember the colors and the gentle touches so vividly; it was painful seeing the real Sho standing so close to him.
Old memories started coming back. Jun was a hopeless fool in love when he was with Sho. He thought he had abandoned his feelings, and he thought he was over with this unrequited love. So why is it still crushing his heart?
By the time they finished, they were all exhausted and ready to go home. Jun packed his things slowly, trying to gather his thoughts together. Sho is his best friend, but Jun felt nervous around him once again. All because of the stupid dreams. Those stupid, realistic, forlorn, amazing dreams...
Ohno and Nino were the first to leave, and then followed by Aiba. Sho stayed since he still had extra work to finish. He was already stripping his T-shirt to change into his suit. Jun was used to seeing the other members dressing up or being half-naked, but now Jun could barely bring his eyes up.
"Umm, Sho?" Jun spoke, still looking away.
"What's up?" Sho asked.
He already pulled his pants off and just stood there with his boxers on. Jun had a hard time finding words as Sho reached into his bag for his extra set of clothes. Jun just watched with shifty eyes as Sho put on his shirt and pants. He felt traces of sweat rolling down as Jun watched Sho strap on his belt and fiddle around with his zipper.
"What's the matter?" Sho chuckled, buttoning up his shirt. "Are you really sick? You sweated quite a lot when you took your nap."
"Ah, no! I'm f-fine," Jun stuttered. "It's just, uh, well, n-never mind. Good work today!"
And Jun bolted out the room. He was too scared. Jun's heart was racing as he headed home. He couldn't speak to Sho like before, not after his hidden feelings are starting to reappear again. This is bad. The agency does not allow them to have relationships, but with a fellow member is unheard of. Fan service is one thing, but to actually have feelings is too much for Jun to deal with. He doesn't know what will happen to them if Jun starts acting weird again. He must behave professionally. He is an adult now, and he must handle this like an adult.
Jun arrived home and collapsed on his bed, too emotionally exhausted to even eat dinner. He reached for his journal and wrote his thoughts in frustration. His hands trembled with detest as he quickly jot down his darkest emotions. He could feel his eyes on the verge of tears, but he refused to let them fall. Finally, Jun threw his pen away and covered his face. It relieved him to express his feelings to an inanimate object. His trusty journal is his only friend he can tell everything to.
Jun was walking alone in the hallway. His bag weighted heavy on his shoulder as he head off to class again. When he opened the door, no one was there expect for his professor.
"Hello, Jun. Good to see you again," Sho smiled.
"This again?" Jun muttered. "How am I having the same dream?"
"Still asking the same question?" Sho sighed, removing his glasses. "I don't want to tell you again. Why don't you come here and write today's lesson on the board before the other students arrive?"
His smile glistened with such a warm radiance; Jun felt at ease. He couldn't remember that last time Sho smiled at him like that. Jun approached the front desk and slung his backpack off. Sho handed him a piece of chalk, and Jun reached his hand out. He intended to grab the chalk, but his thumb lightly brushed against Sho's finger. The single touch made Jun's heart leap to his throat.
"You can write the kanji, right?" Sho asked as if it was nothing.
Jun gulped and nodded his head bashfully. He started writing on the board until he did got stuck on the kanji. He tried to remember the correct way to write it, but then Sho softly held his hand. He stood behind Jun with his other arm wrapped around Jun's waist.
"Like this," Sho whispered into his ear.
Jun allowed Sho's hand to guide him and write the correct kanji, but Jun wasn't paying attention. He could feel Sho's hot chest pressed against his back, and he could hear Sho breathing on his ear. Jun shivered and dropped the chalk. It fell loudly on the floor, but neither of them made a move to pick it up.
"What's the matter?" Sho asked. "A little clumsy today? Perhaps I should order extra homework for you."
"Why are you doing this to me?" Jun finally spoke. "Why are you making me feel this way? This wasn't meant to happen. Not back then and not now."
"It can happen now," Sho replied. "We can happen here in this very classroom. If you would only accept it."
"The real Sho would never do that," Jun frowned, turning his head away from Sho's hot breath. "He would never-"
"But I am Sho."
Aggressively, Sho turned Jun around and pushed him against the blackboard. His strong arms trapped Jun on both sides and his eyes burned into Jun's. They were filled with love and promise, and Jun could see himself looking surprised. He felt his face turning red again as Sho's face leaned in extremely close.
"Just tell me you love me," Sho moaned. "I promise to say I'll love you too. I swear."
Jun couldn't wait any longer as he kissed Sho. It didn't matter if this was a dream, and Jun wished he could stay here like this forever. Jun had experienced love before, but he never felt requited. His past was always one-sided or relationships that ended too short. For once, he wanted someone to truly love him back.
Jun woke up and it was morning. He slowly sat up and rubbed his face. He didn't have to write in his journal what he dreamed; it was still fresh in his memory. There was no other way to deal with his troubled heart. He had to tell Sho today. He got ready for another work day and packed his journal in his bag. On the way to work, the sky was bleak and pale streaks of silver light vanished behind the thick clouds. Rain was on its way, and Jun hurried to the studio.
Amazingly enough, he was the first to arrive. He set his bag on the make-up counter and waited for the others. It wasn't until he saw his schedule that he wouldn't be working with the other members except Sho. They had a duel interview together for a magazine. Jun felt his palms sweating.
Just then, Sho entered their green room.
"Morning," Sho greeted.
Jun glanced up at Sho through the mirror's reflection. He looked stunning in his casual polo shirt and dark jeans. He wore his favorite hat and sunglasses as his disguise to get to the studio. Jun considered himself lucky to see Sho dress so normally. The fans are dazzled by their flashy clothes for television, but this normality is something Jun always craved for.
"It's gonna rain today," Sho said, making conversation. "Ohno and Nino will have a hard time. They're shooting Himitsu no Arashi outside today."
"And Aiba?" Jun asked, not missing a beat.
"I think he's coming later in the day," Sho said, taking his hat and glasses off. "He's so lucky."
"Here's your coffee," a staff entered. Jun tried to calm his heart by drumming his fingers on the counter. When the staff closed the door, Jun was alone with Sho again.
"Here's my chance," Jun thought.
"The interview is about love and friendship, right?" Sho asked, "Ah, don't they ever get tired of asking the same questions? How embarrassing we have to do it together. I better work on what to say to them. What do you plan to say-"
"Sho, I love you!" Jun blurted out.
The silence could have killed them both. Jun's chair laid on the floor since he stood up too fast. His hands were tight and shaking from nervousness. He couldn't bring himself to stare at Sho. He couldn't even hear his own breathing until Sho made the first move.
"W-what?" Sho’s was voice low and mellow. A small chuckle escaped his throat. "What's the matter? Why are you so stiff?"
Jun swallowed a hard lump that was still stuck in his vocal cords. Finally, Jun raised his head and faced his old crush.
"I...haven't forgotten," Jun said a little slower. "It never went away. I thought I got over this feeling, but every day I forced myself to deny it. I can't ignore it anymore. Sho...I love you."
Sho looked speechless. Jun couldn't read his expression, and it only scared him even more. Years ago, Jun made a light confession when the cameras were rolling. Of course, it was meant for fan service, but Jun wasn't able to bring it up again. Sho had been ignoring him since then until the ice broke between them over time. Now that they were alone, with no one to witness them, neither of them have to hide.
And that's when Jun saw the frown growing on Sho's brow.
"What is this?" Sho said, his eyes glaring, "You're still going on about that?"
Jun could already feel his heart breaking.
"I can't believe this!" Sho sneered, and shook his head. "All these years and you still haven't gotten over that? I thought you've grown up, Jun. I thought you were cool just being friends. Stuff like that shouldn't matter anymore."
Sho looked away and sat down on the couch, his back looking burdened and angry. Jun could hear glass breaking and smashing into pieces—his heart perhaps. His tears started welling up until he finally couldn't take it. Jun rushed out the door and stormed down the hall. He should have known. He should have accepted the truth instead of dreaming what could have happened. He thought he wouldn't feel so broken again. Jun thought he could handle these kinds of rejection.
But when it was from Sho, so direct and someone he knew for so many years, it was worse than any rejection Jun's ever experienced. It didn't work and it never will.
He knew he was being childish by running away, but he felt like he couldn't do anything else. He left everything behind and ran outside. The rain was already pouring down hard. A typhoon must be blowing in, but Jun ran against the heavy raindrops that mixed with his tears. All he could think of was running...running away from his stupidity and his regret for bringing up the past.
A blinding light engulfed him. He stood there with his arms up until he realized he didn't felt the rain. He didn't hear the sound of the wind or the people or the city. Everything was quiet and peaceful. He felt warm.
Jun opened his eyes and saw he was at the campus again. Confused, Jun looked over his shoulder. No one was around except for one professor in a white coat and glasses.
"Jun," Sho sighed. "It's good to see you."
"How did I get here?" Jun looked around him. "I thought I was awake."
"You were in an accident," Sho answered.
Sho walked towards Jun and hugged him. Jun's arms dangled at his sides, still confused about what was going on. Sho held him tightly and patted his head reassuringly.
"It's alright now," Sho said softly. "You don't have to feel pain anymore."
Jun felt his arms twitching, wanting to hug Sho back.
"It doesn't matter how much pain your heart went through. I will protect you," Sho said. "And I will always love you."
"Sho," Jun's arms were about to touch Sho's back.
"Stay here with me," Sho said. "Those who hurt you should be forgotten."
"They've broken your heart like it's some worthless toy. As if you aren't worth being loved, but that's not true," Sho said, more sternly. "That world is filthy. Forget they ever existed. Here, you can finally be loved. I will be here to care for you, and cherish you, and love you and-"
"No," Jun said. He gently pushed Sho away. "No...that's not what I want."
"What are you talking about?"
"I don't want to forget them," Jun said. "The ones who've hurt me, or the one who broke my heart completely. I can't forget him."
"Why?" Sho said, his frown deepened, "They never loved you like you loved them. Why would you still hold on to them?"
For the first time, Jun noticed the dream Sho was discolored and plain. There was no soul, no real sense of being. Nothing compared to the Sho that Jun remembered in his past. He was just a fake.
"It's okay that I'm not loved," Jun said. "At least, it doesn't matter my feelings weren't returned. I got to feel love again. It may be painful and others may think it's pitiful, but I felt love and I will always have this feeling."
Sho backed away as if disgusted. Suddenly, the campus started crumbling away into black and grey pieces, as if they were made out of ashes. Jun felt a different warmth, except it wasn't a gentle touch. It was strength coming from within. Jun clutched his fist and bravely stood his ground.
"I am blessed to have this love. I am lucky that I can feel love," Jun proudly proclaimed. "And it's not something to be ashamed of at all. I may be hurt a hundred times over, but I'm still glad I'm living today to be feeling my heart pound like this."
A light was shining, and the dream Sho was vanishing.
"We may not be facing each other, but we are facing forward. To our future."
"Jun! Jun! Please wake up!"
Jun opened his eyes. The first person he recognized was Sho—the real and beautiful and colorful Sho—staring down at him with watery eyes. He heard a faint sound of a heart monitor followed by squeals of joy.
"He's awake! You guys, he's awake!" Sho cried.
Soon, he saw Ohno, Aiba, and Nino huddled around his bed. Jun felt so tired; he could barely move his limbs. Aiba was crying his eyes out, and Nino and Ohno looked relieved. Jun saw his right arm and leg were in a thick cast, and he had a neck brace. His right face felt sore and swollen.
"Thank god. We were so worried about you!" Aiba wailed.
"Wha-what happened?" Jun moaned. His voice was so small and fragile.
"You were hit by a car that skidded off the curb," Sho said. "Why did you have to go out in the rain like that?! You could have been killed!"
"We were so scared when we heard the news," Nino nodded. "Ohno and I left the recording and ran straight to the hospital. The doctors said you were in a coma."
"I was?" Jun grumbled.
"You guys, we need to give him some rest," Ohno said wisely. "Let's have the doctor look at him."
Aiba gave his left hand one final squeeze before they left. Sho was the last to exit, but he stopped at the doorway. He looked over his shoulder with his mouth open, but words didn't come and he left as well.
* * *
Sho asked their manager for Arashi to take on Jun's work while he recovered in the hospital. He even bowed to important producers and directors to take up his work. Sho couldn't help but feel that it was his fault, and he wanted to take responsibility.
Jun stayed in the hospital for two weeks. Many of his friends, co-workers, and family visited. The fans were absolutely devastated, but Jun blogged not to worry and he's making a slow recovery. Ohno, Nino, and Aiba would make a few visits, but they were extremely busy taking turns covering for Jun.
Sho, however, never visited. He couldn't bring himself to do it. He would occasionally send text messages, and Jun would respond back normally. Still, Sho felt his heart being stabbed with guilt whenever Jun replied back with very little words.
He remembered that day...hearing Jun's snuffling before he bolted out the green room. Sho just rubbed the bridge of his nose in annoyance. When Jun didn't return, he thought it was best to go find him and apologize. He got up and spotted Jun's bag left on the make-up counter. A journal sticking out caught Sho's interest, and he reached for it.
It was Jun's journal alright, and Sho thought it was quite silly that a grown man clung to such trifles. Sho flipped through pages of random entries until he stumbled upon the recent ones. Jun wrote down his dream of him as a professor. Embarrassed, Sho continued to read and felt his face blush. Jun's emotions were poured into this journal, and his delusional dreams were making Jun remember old love again and causing him so much suffering.
Sho read everything.
"So that's why," Sho sighed. "I've been too harsh..."
Sho sat down and turned to a blank page. He found a pen in Jun's bag and began to write.
For not returning your feelings is something I must always live with.
Because we are so close, and because we see each other almost every day,
I am always reminded of what I've done in the past.
I feel at fault for hurting you for so many years.
I'm sorry, but in love, I cannot give it to you. In the past, present, nor in the future, I cannot.
But when you're not looking, I'm always watching over you. To make sure you'll smile genuinely.
I wanted to make sure no one will hurt you again like I did.
It's selfish, but I feel like it's my duty.
Because you are special to me.
I'm not doing this out of love. I'm doing this because I cherish you as my friend.
One day, your red string of fate will lead you to the one.
You just have to go around me.
Finally, Jun was released from the hospital. Arashi was recording for another variety show, and they gathered around Jun in the green room like four different mothers attending the youngest. His manager returned his bag with the journal inside. Jun hasn't read it yet, but Sho knows he will soon. When he does, Sho hopes Jun will forgive him.
"Your face is still purple, Jun," Aiba teased.
"Stop touching it," Jun smacked Aiba's hand away.
"How are you feeling? Do you think you'll be okay?" Ohno asked.
"I'm fine," Jun nodded. "My leg is still a little sore, and the rehab is hard work, but I'll be fine."
"My advice is to not stand on your bad leg for too long," Nino nodded, "Just keep leaning on your good leg. And use your good arm too."
"Thanks," Jun grinned.
Sho didn't say anything.
He wasn't sure if he was relieved that Jun wasn't mentioning them, or if he was being a coward for not speaking. Jun sat there talking with the others with a sweet smile as if it was nothing. Not once did they brought up their little encounter in this very same green room. Neither of them told anyone the reason why Jun was out in the rain. Thankfully, no one questioned him, and even if they did, Sho couldn't bring himself to tell the other members what really happened.
"Is this alright?" Sho thought bitterly.
A staff called them to get ready and they all got up. Sho was behind Jun as they headed towards the set. Jun walked slowly and limped ever so slightly. Sho hated himself for causing Jun such pain. Even without Jun limping, Sho would stare behind him with worry and pity for years without anyone noticing.
But Sho knew Jun will be alright. Jun was stronger than Sho. All he could do was quietly watch him from behind and carry onward. Just following him now from behind made Sho feel like his guardian. Sho promised himself he will always watch over Jun silently with a kind smile.
It was the least he could do for all the heartache he's caused.